If you are still employed then it is unlikely that you can do any type of rollover unless the company offers "in service" distribution options. Usually only the largest companies seem to offer this provision. If you are employed and looking for a loan, well, the plan may or may not offer that option. While allowed by regulation, a plan sponsor (your employer) does not have to offer a loan option. If you are no longer employed, then you can consider a rollover IRA to another custodian and have the flexibility and choice previously mentioned. Because of administrative costs, your plan sponsor may not allow partial distributions as you have found out.
You should consider rolling over the 401k into an RIA at a discount brokerage firm like Scottrade, TD Ameritrade or Schwab. That way you have more flexibility over withdrawals and, most likely, over how your savings are invested. These brokers can also provide assistance in their local offices, over the phone, or via the web.